your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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