Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
