Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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