I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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