yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
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I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
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He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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