I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
