I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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