She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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