i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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