just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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