And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize