What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
