ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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