I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize