i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
