Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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