belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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