I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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