i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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