did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
