handjob tips. give me some.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
