At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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