Taylor Swift is so right about you.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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