and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
