i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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