I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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