you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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