C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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