hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this just has baby written all over it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
