Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
