The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
