I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
