It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
