Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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