then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
