some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
