3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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