I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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