You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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