a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
