i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
