Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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