she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
