I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
