You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
