i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
