after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
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5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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