I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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