I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I did not marry a roomba.
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