Christians are straight up FREAKS
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
