Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
