oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
