i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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