he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize