Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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