i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
