"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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