did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
