drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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