Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
