I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
